My Thyroid’s Death Birthday!

13 Oct

The night before surgery. You can kind of see the lump on the right side of my neck.

The day I got my dressing off. Yes, that is crusty blood. Gross. Sorry, my camera was crapping out at the time.

Today! Nuts, huh?

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Dear Thyroid,

Welp, it’s been a year since you were surgically removed from my neck. I’m really sorry they cut you all up and did tests on you as soon as you were out of me. But you should have thought of that before you went and got tumors all over yourself and turned black and junk. Hopefully you’ve learned from your mistakes.

A lot has happened since we were separated. First of all, I got a sweet scar. It was pretty gnarly at first; I could make it smile and do weird faces but now most people don’t even notice it. For the first few months, I couldn’t talk to people without wearing a scarf because they would just stare down at my neck with a confused/grossed-out face, obviously not listening to anything I was saying. Then I would have to stop and say, “I had my thyroid removed.” Then I continue whatever I was saying, knowing they were even more confused than before.

I’ve been really tired without you. They’ve been giving me all kinds of different dosages of thyroid meds to replace you. Turns out you were doing a fantastic job keeping all my hormone levels ship-shape even though you were black and junk.

Here’s how it went down. At first, my dosage was too low = thyroid levels too low = me tired. So they upped my meds to the next dosage = thyroid levels barely too high = my pituitary released too much TSH = me tired. The thing is, there is no in-between dosage, so I get to stay tired until my body gets the hint. Oh yeah, and since my thyroid levels are barely too high, my metabolism is working like crazy, so it’s harder for me to gain weight. I’ll deal. 🙂 Thing are getting better, though; I don’t fall asleep without warning anymore.

Other than that, things are good. I have a cool job. I’m in a band. is the third Google search result for “thyroid shmyroid,” so that’s pretty cool. That’s about it. I hope things are going well for you. Please write back soon. I miss you!


P.S. Do you miss me at all?
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6 Responses to “My Thyroid’s Death Birthday!”

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