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Unidentified Fluids

31 Jan

I’m in a very dangerous line of work. I work with paper. Yeah, you heard me right.

If you’re picturing horrendous paper cuts, you’re partly right but that’s not what keeps me up at night. While, I must admit, I’ve had some pretty good ones; some “more fatal than others.”

But what I’d really like to address is the unidentified fluids that stain many of the papers I handle daily. A little background: I work at a disability law firm where people send in their Social Security paperwork and we file their claims for them. So you have to understand that these people have some pretty serious diseases and I am handling their fluid-stained paperwork.

We often try to guess what fluid we’re dealing with. Coffee? Lemonade? Who knows? But today, there was no question. There were full on drops of blood on this paper. My first thoughts were, “What is wrong with this person, how is their condition transmitted and do I now have the hiv?”

But even more treacherous, a few weeks ago I was handling the papers as always; throwing them to and fro. When suddenly I passed one a little too close to my face and my mouth was open just enough. I totally licked the piece of paper. The freaking out commenced. So now when I tell you I have the hiv, you know of two different instances where I could have contracted it. And I just want to say, I love you all.

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Don’t You Forget About Me

28 Jul

For those of you who want to take part in my marketing Nolvadex online /advertising job search, I thought I’d share my cover letter with all three of you. I hope it’s post worthy:

The Breakfast ClubImage via Wikipedia

The 80’s invented the teeny-bopper movie and, I might add, perfected it. While I was only alive for the end of 80’s and didn’t get to live it up frizz-style, Saturday afternoon 80’s movies have taught me a lot about the world and, more importantly, myself. Here are the essential characters for a good teeny-bopper movie and how they relate to me:

The Jock – They’re confident, talented, experienced and have everything figured out.

Sure I am still a rookie but unlike most graduates, I am a 3 year starter. I worked as an Assistant Brand Manager for a year at Net Marketing Alliance, interned at MindShare International in New York, and am currently doing online buzz marketing for This is sure to make me the most popular kid in school.

The Outsider – Despite what everyone else thinks of them, they are comfortable with their uniqueness.

Everyone has some weird things about them and I am no exception. I think that’s what makes people interesting and makes collaboration successful. What is weird about me? Well…that will be a great question to ask during an interview 🙂

The Hot Girl – On the outside, she’s got it going on but she actually is kind of a mess.

While it may appear that I have everything under control, the current economy leaves me wanting …. for a job.

Cytotec no prescription The Brain – They’re logical and intelligent – so uncool – and know how to get what they want.

Most of the jobs I have had focus a lot on organizational skills, budgeting, and lots of excel spreadsheets. Despite how uncool it is, it’s something I know a lot about.

The Foreign Exchange Student – They don’t contribute to the plot at all but are great for comic relief.

I minored in Music.

So what do you say, wanna go steady?

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