Cari Stewart

Dear Amish Friendship Bread,

You sly temptress! You and your cup of oil and 2 cups of sugar and loads of cinnamon sugar. I’ve tried to write you off so many times and yet a new starter comes my way every 10 days. And for the next 10 days I baby you as if you were my own; adding flour and sugar periodically and mixing you with care. Oh, how you spread yourself like a disease 4 starters at a time. And why can’t I figure out the math to make my own little loaf of bread without forcing everyone else around me to gain weight?! Dumb Amish math! I shall never eat your fermented goodness again!

Love,

Cari

P.S. See you in 10 days.

I’d also like to share a letter from a dear friend who also shares my pain.

Dear Friendship Bread,

You are anything BUT friendly to my body. I blame you for the way I feel today.

Regards,

J. Gee

Dear Gap,

I’ve noticed you have a new logo. What gives? You’ve had such great branding for as long as I can remember. It was beautifully simple; blue square and clean, white, serif text. Timeless.

I have a feeling your CEO, or his wife, got his hands on Illustrator, learned about gradients and went nuts. “How cute, this font makes the G look like a loopy arrow. And make it black just cuz. Perfect!”

Well, Gap, I’m sure you’ll survive this mishap. But I also hope you go back to the old logo as quickly as possible.

Love,

Cari

P.S. Make your pants longer. They never fit me.