….. But at least it was long.

I knew 2009 was up to no good. I could feel it in my bones. There’s something about that shady 9 at the end.

I used to think my Freshman year of high school was bad when everyone discovered I looked like Christina Ricci and had a butt that only large black men could love. In retrospect, what a wonderful year that was. Nothing that a few trips to the tanning salon and dance classes for 5 hours every day couldn’t fix.

But not 2009. I didn’t really notice until the other day when I was reviewing the year. Boy, this one has been a beast! It started out horribly – some of you may remember this …. Jenn – and then it got worse from there. Let me enumerate why:

1. Dumped for the first time ever (they don’t call me “Cari ‘love em and leave em’ Stewart” for nothing)  – It didn’t help that it also happened on my birthday. The thing was, I saw it coming from a mile away, which made it sufficiently slow and excruciating. Don’t worry, I’ve since healed.
2. Tons of great job interviews that went nowhere – As you may know, I majored in advertising and also want to work in advertising. The economy has left me, how you say, high and dry. Rest assured, I do have a job. It’s not the one I want, but it’s a job nonetheless. The only sanity I have during the day is my good friend Mr. John Wharff and a steady stream of Muse and Queen.
3. A chain of unsavory living situations – I’ve lived in three different places this year, the middle of which was the worst ever; the kind of place that wears on your soul. You know, the kind of place with paper thin walls where the people next door have frequent, insane sex within inches of your head. I wish that wasn’t literal. But since before New York, I haven’t lived anywhere that felt like home. I love this Kings of Convenience song “Homesick.” It makes me cry every time because it’s a little too familiar. The last lines of the song are the most poignant: “A song for someone who needs somewhere to long for. Homesick, cause I no longer know where home is.” (Sorry the video’s lame)
4. My car exploded – I was on the freeway and the timing belt broke. Two weeks and my savings account later, I had a moderately functioning car. Then a couple weeks later…..
5. My thyroid exploded – For details, see previous two posts.
6. Dumped for the second time – Unlike the previous break-up, this one can be compared to one of those insurance commercials. Everyone is happy talking about Christmas and flowers and then out of nowhere they get t-boned by some crazy driver. Well, that was me. I’m totally crazy about this guy. I’m talking legit, no-reservations crazy. For those of you who have been with me through my dating escapades, you know that doesn’t happen. Then out of nowhere it was over. Totally blindsided. One minute, I’m as happy as can be; my little heart is full and twitterpated. Then …. T-BONED. Heart: broken. I’ve never been so confused in my life. Luckily, I’ve since invested in some relationship insurance. The thing is, it doesn’t prevent the wreck.

   I’m just glad it happened now; what with the snow and gray skies and frigid air that freezes your soul and keeps you cooped up inside all day. It’s a recipe for mental wellness is what it is. If you’re wondering how I’m dealing, it requires regular and huge doses of Super Mario Bros. Wii. Those lava levels will make you forget your own name! And it always helps to listen to Muse’s FANTASTIC cover of “Feeling Good” a few times. It really does make me feel good and kind of mad at the same time.

So I sit here now with an 8-month-old scar and a new gaping wound on my heart, a scar across my neck, an average car, and the same resume with which I graduated.

This year has reminded me of getting caught in the riptide. I have a gift for identifying riptides, avoiding them, and immediately getting stuck in them for indeterminable amounts of time. You’re there treading water forever until you can muster enough strength to get yourself out only to find that you are stuck again puking up water and losing energy. Then eventually a nice surfer or lifeguard comes and saves your life. I’m just hoping it’s the tan surfer this time and not the girl lifeguard I’ve had in the past.

I’m almost positive that 2010 can’t be as bad as 2009. So I’m already off to a good start. But really, I’m determined to kick 2010’s butt. 2010 doesn’t know what’s coming! Because, you know what, It’s a new dawn, It’s a new day, It’s a new life For me… And I’m feeling good.

I’ll leave you with the scripture that has gone through my head a lot this year, Doctrine and Covenants 122:7 – “…. that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”